I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
