I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
