is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
