You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
