I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
