Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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