no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
