M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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