Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
