i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
