just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
