I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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