Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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