Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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