i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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