I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
