Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
