Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
