I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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