We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
