I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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