Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
