dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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