...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
