i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
