Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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