I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize