White coat. Heels.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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