What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
