We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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