I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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