The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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