She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
