Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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