Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
