That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize