The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
