First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
