How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
