For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
