I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
