I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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