I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
