ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
