I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
