can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He did a backflip because drugs
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