i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
