I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
