its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
