I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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