Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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