Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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