U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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