My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
