its not stalking. its research.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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