is wine microwaveable?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
