I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
