remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
