I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize