This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
