There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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