Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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