I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
