google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
