So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think my vagina is haunted
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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