I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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