Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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