so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
