Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
