she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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