Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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