It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
