Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
it's great music for shaving your balls
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize