remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
