can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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