you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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