haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
