Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
