We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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